Avoidance is a lesser-known obstacle in mental health recovery. It can take many forms – skipping therapy, dodging uncomfortable conversations, procrastinating on self-care, or pretending everything is “fine.” While avoidance may offer temporary relief, it will ultimately hinder your ability to make meaningful progress.
Palm Springs Behavioral Health helps our clients identify and break the cycle so they can move toward lasting emotional well-being.
What Is Avoidant Behavior?
Avoidant behavior is an unconscious or conscious strategy to escape discomfort. People evade things that evoke stress, shame, fear, grief, or vulnerability – either emotionally or physically. While this response is sometimes protective, it becomes harmful when it interferes with your growth, healing, or functioning.
Avoidance is a hallmark of anxiety disorders, clinical depression, and PTSD – and, contrary to misconceptions, it doesn’t always look like running away. It can be subtle, and in many cases, disguised as “coping” or rational self-protection.
Identifying these patterns is critical if your progress feels stalled or static.
- Skipping therapy or cancelling appointments
- Changing the subject when specific topics come up
- Numbing yourself with things like drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, or gambling
- Withdrawing from social support
- Staying overly busy so you don’t have a chance to sit with yourself and reflect
- Procrastinating on decisions or commitments
- Downplaying your symptoms
- Fearing success or failure
Why Avoidance Keeps You Stuck
Avoidance provides short-term relief but often worsens long-term distress. For example, pushing away a triggering memory might reduce anxiety in the moment, but leaving it unprocessed fuels fear, shame, and mental fatigue.
Avoidant patterns can also erode relationships. When others don’t know what you’re going through, they can’t uplift you. This isolation can intensify your feelings of disconnection or hopelessness.
In recovery, you must challenge the belief that discomfort is dangerous. Discomfort is part of growth, and therapy offers a safe place to learn how to tolerate it.
How to Break the Cycle of Avoidance
Learning to face your problems head-on builds emotional resilience. Palm Springs Behavioral Health, we help clients gently confront avoidance through trauma-informed, person-centered care. Here’s how to start moving forward.
1. Notice the Pattern
Journaling, therapy, or support groups can help you recognize when you typically choose avoidance instead of engagement.
2. Start Small
You don’t have to tackle your biggest fears all at once. Choose a single task or conversation you’ve been putting off and take a small, manageable step toward it.
3. Practice Emotional Regulation
Avoidance often stems from emotional overwhelm. Skills like grounding, deep breathing, or working with a therapist on distress tolerance can increase your capacity to stay present when you experience discomfort.
4. Reframe the Fear
Instead of worrying that everything will go wrong, tell yourself that you can handle any challenge. Courage grows with practice, and your nervous system learns from every experience you endure safely.
5. Use Therapy as a Safe Space
Therapy allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It’s where you can build trust, test new behaviors, and work through avoidance without retraumatization.
Recovery Is About Moving Through, Not Around
Avoidant behavior is a survival strategy – but it doesn’t have to be your default. With consistent therapeutic work, you can learn to face your past, feel your emotions, and engage with your life in new, empowering ways.
If you’re ready to stop avoiding and start healing, contact us today to learn more about our mental health treatment programs and how we help clients move beyond avoidance and into lasting emotional recovery.